Aftermath
by CrimzieLightwood
Summary: After Livvy died, the Blackthorn family fell to their knees, hopeless. This story goes through with them and their journey as they rise back onto their feet, stronger than ever.
1. You Don't Have To Do This

The light from the setting sun glared in Kit's eyes as he looked out at the vast horizon. Despite all the times he's been to the beach or has watched the sunset, he never really took the time to appreciate its beauty. He never cared for it; he always had something to think about, something that drew his mind from the wondrous sunset. It was different now. Kit savored the blank-mindedness, savored the absence of the voice willing him to think about Livvy's death. Kit supposed that was why he was able to study the sunset, which was now almost touching the water. He couldn't think about Livvy. He felt that he didn't deserve to, that he had no place in grieving the Blackthorn girl. He didn't know her for very long, nor did he know much about her. Only the surface of her, which stayed behind with him as if it were a ghost. Livvy was… curious. Kit knew that much about her. After all, she had asked him to kiss her because she wanted to know what it felt like. Kit was glad to be the one to satisfy that curiosity of hers before her death, glad that it wasn't just some stranger. Not that Livvy would ever kiss a stranger.

Kit stretched out, crossing his legs as he rested his head against the wall of the bay window. Kit was surprised to see he had a bay window in his room, as it seemed that it wouldn't match the rest of the Institute's exterior. There was a knock on the door, and without even realizing it, Kit called out to the person behind it. "Come in,"

The door opened slowly, revealing a girl with long black hair wearing jeans and a peach-colored sweater that filled out her curves. She had light brown skin which was decorated with runes that sneaked out from under her sweater. Cristina. Her brown eyes went to the bed, expecting Kit to be there, but trailed over to the window when Kit cleared this throat. She walked in, closing the door behind her. Kit stared at her as she made her way over to him, dodging the dirty clothes he had left on the floor. _Embarrassing,_ he thought as his eyes spotted a pair of underwear by the bed.

As the other outsider in the L.A. Institute, Cristina tried her best to engage herself with Kit. He appreciated her, but all she did was remind him that he didn't have a place with the Blackthorn family's grieving. _"Neither do I, but there's an advantage to that. We don't have to bear a loved one's death. As selfish as that may sound, we do have to watch from the sidelines. And maybe we're not playing the game but we can at least make an impact encouraging them,"_ Cristina said when Kit had told her that.

"Cristina," Kit said. "What's up?"

"I just wanted to check on you," she replied, sitting across from Kit.

"Check on me?" Kit questioned, glancing at the flour in Cristina's hair.

Ever since Livvy's death, Julian and the others have been holed up in their room, coming out only to eat. Except Ty. He never came out. Cristina had taken it upon herself to continue the chores. She cooked, she did laundry, she cleaned, she dealt with the Clave and Clary and Jace, ect. She took care of Tavvy. All things Julian did. The Clave had postponed Helen's arrival for "further questioning" but Kit suspected that they didn't want to give a faerie the satisfaction of making it out of their demands, even though she had just lost her little sister.

"Yes. I'm making my rounds," she sighed, running her hand through her hair. Cristina went door to door checking on the inhabitants of the L.A. Institute. She rarely came to Kit's door.

"Oh. I'm okay," Kit swallowed.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," he smiled at her. She was unbelievably kind. It was hard to believe she was a Shadowhunter sometimes, compared to the aggressiveness of all other Shadowhunters Kit have met. Which in his case, there weren't many. "You have flour in your hair, by the way,"

"Seriously? I thought I got it all out," she groaned, rubbing the flour out of her hair.

"What are you making, anyways?"

"Cupcakes," she answered. "Tavvy wanted to make some. They're downstairs on the counter if you want some."

Kit nodded, his stomach grumbling at the thought of biting into a cupcake. "Any progress on the Blackthorns?"

Cristina shrugged as she tied her hair up lazily into a bun. "Everybody deals with grief in different ways. Julian occasionally instructs me on Tavvy, like on what puts him to sleep, y'know, that kind of stuff. Emma texts me when she needs a shoulder to cry on. Mark is too…. calm. As if he's trying to hold everything in. Dru is angry. Nobody is helping her but me, so of course she take her frustration out on me. I know she doesn't mean to. Ty, he just…. shuts me out completely. I didn't talk to Ty much, so to him I'm sure I'm just a stranger at his door,"

"I'm worried about him," Kit said. "I mean, I'm worried about everyone else as well but Ty…."

"You're his friend," Cristina said. "Why don't you try to talk to him?"

"I don't think so," he laughed. Kit was horrible at comforting someone. He always said the wrong thing, made the wrong move, too soon or too late. "I don't know how,"

"You don't have to stay anything," she told him. "Sometimes a presence is better than nothing,"

Kit looked at Cristina. _She has a way with words,_ he thought. He could do that. He could sit with Ty in silence. The only obstacle is to get Ty to let him in.

"Okay," he breathed. "I'll try,"

"Okay," Cristina smiled, placing a hand on his knee. "And if you ever need me, you know where I am,"

As she got up to leave, Kit called after her. "You don't have to do this, y'know?"

"Do what?" she asked, turning around to look at Kit.

"This," Kit gestured between them and around them. "You don't have to be the one to hold this Institute together,"

Cristina walked to the door, pausing to turn to Kit. "If I don't," she whispered, "then who will?" With that closed the door, leaving Kit to his thoughts and the sunset.

* * *

 **There's the first chapter! Review and let me know what you think!**


	2. Come To Dinner

Kit sighed as he set the last plate on the dining table. He stood back as he admired his work setting the table. It looked rather nice, he thought. Of course, he didn't really have much experience in the family dinner area. Cristina had instructed him on what goes where, often pausing her cooking to correct him. She failed to suppress a smile when Kit put all the silverware in the middle of the table. Kit walked over to the counter, yawning as he did so. Tavvy was sitting on the counter, helping Cristina drain the noodles that she had finished cooking, along with Tavvy's assistance, of course.

"Looks good, little man," Kit smiled. "Anything else?"

Cristina looked up at Kit as she said, "You can go and get everyone for dinner, if that's okay,"

"Sure," he said, walking out of the kitchen.

Kit had offered to help Cristina for dinner. She did everything by herself, as far as he knew. He wondered how Julian could easily give up control. On the Institute, on the well-being of the inhabitants, of the kids. Maybe to Julian they were just responsibilities and Kit supposed that Julian could use a break from them, after having to endure them since he was twelve.

Kit walked up the stairs slowly, hoping by some mysterious way they were able to detect dinner time themselves. He made his way unconsciously down a series of hallways, his thoughts getting the better of him. He came to the first door he recognized. Emma's door.

Kit reached up, breathing in deeply before knocking twice on the door. It swung open to reveal Emma, her hair wet and wearing a gray cardigan and leggings. _She probably just got out of the shower,_ Kit thought.

"Kit?" she asked, her eyebrows drawing up in confusion. "What's up?"

"It's time for dinner," Kit said, a slight cough escaping him.

"Okay, be there in a minute," she said. She slammed the door before he could say anything else.

Kit scoffed as he turned down the hall, walking to a door a few feet down the hall. Julian's room. He braced himself as he knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" a muffled shout rose from behind the door.

"Uhh, Kit," he replied nervously. "It's- um, time for dinner,"

"Alright," the voice said. A loud crash came from the room, followed by a short cry.

Kit wondered what was going on in Julian's room as he walked towards the other side of the Institute. He was dreading the rest of the inhabitants. Dru was angry and rude to anyone it seems, and Ty simply shut everyone out, as Cristina told him. Mark should be relatively easy, but Kit never talked to him all that much. He walked towards another door, this time leaning against the doorframe. He kicked the door lightly, in a pattern that resembled a normal knock across the wood. There was a shuffling on the other side, and then a swift whoosh as Mark opened the door quickly. He stared at Kit, blinking as if he was seeing him for the first time.

"Sorry, dinner time," Kit said, pushing himself off of the doorframe and walking speedily across the hall. He sneaked a glance at Mark as he rounded a corner and found him already heading off, to the kitchen, Kit assumed. Kit ran his fingers through his hair and turned his head back in front of him, only to find Dru standing in front of him with her arms crossed, as if she was expecting him.

"Dru," Kit chuckled nervously. "What are you doing standing in the hall, all creepy-like?"

"It's not creepy," she said shortly. "What are doing?"

"It's time for dinner," he said yet again.

"No thanks," Dru breathed, walking across the hallway to her room. "I'm not hungry,"

Kit stared at Dru as she started to leave, thinking back to when he last saw her eat. It had been a while. But Dru wouldn't starve herself, not because she's upset with Livvy's death. No, it was something else. Kit wondered whether she was trying to avoid seeing the rest of her family members.

"Dru, when was the last time you ate?"

Dru turned around, her face masked with shock as she processed the question. "I don't know,"

"Please," Kit asked. "Come down for a little bit. Tavvy was hoping everyone would be at dinner. He's really excited for everybody to taste his cooking. Cristina helped him, of course, but he insists that he did the hard work,"

Dru looked down, trying to hide a smile Kit could see playing on her lips. "Okay,"

Kit smiled at Dru, a sense of accomplishment washing over him.

"Good luck with Ty though," Dru said, turning the corner Kit had just appeared from.

Kit took in a deep breath as he headed down the end of the hallway, turning to meet a wooden door yet again. Ty's room. Kit went through a list of ways to tempt Ty to come out, each one sounding more and more ridiculous. He took his shoulders as if trying to shake off some weight on them, and knocked lightly on the door.

"Who is it?" a voice asked.

"Me," Kit said. "I mean, Kit. It's Kit,"

To Kit's surprise, Ty opened the door slowly, revealing himself for the first time in weeks. He was wearing his same old gray hoodie, dark jeans, and his hair was brushed neatly to the left. He looked the same as he had the last time Kit had seen him, but instead of curiosity in his eyes there was a strange darkness, as if he was lifeless. Ty didn't say a word as he looked at Kit.

"Y-you, umm," Kit blubbered, mentally hitting himself. "Its, uh, time to eat dinner. I know you don't ever come down to eat with us but please do this time, it's really important to Tavvy. He doesn't know what's going on, he misses his big sister and his whole family is avoiding him. He made dinner to bring everyone together and he's really excited about it, so please, please come,"

Ty stared down at Kit, his face unreadable. Suddenly he said, "Tavvy made dinner?"

"With Cristina's help," Kit informed.

A minute or two seemed to pass before Ty answered with a nod, stepping out and closing the door behind him. He walked closely by Kit's side, his hand briefly passing Kit's. After five minutes of awkward silence, they finally reached the kitchen. There wasn't any noise but it seemed to get even more quiet when everyone looked up to see Ty. Julian looked at Ty with a sort of relief, clearly happy to see Ty not drowned in sorrow. The silence was interrupted by a squeal, followed by a giggle as Tavvy ran to Ty, grabbing onto his leg.

"Ty!" he laughed, squeezing him tightly. "I made noodles! Would you like some?"

Ty stroked the little boy's hair gently, a smile forming on his lips. "Of course,"

Tavvy ran to Cristina, jumping up and down whilst doing so. "Tina, Tina, Ty's here and he wants some noodles!"

Cristina laughed as she dumped a couple spoonfuls of noodles onto a plate. She put the plate onto the counter and slid it towards Ty. "Here you go, sweetie. Kit, I already made your plate. It's over between Dru and Julian,"

Kit nodded, taking his place at the table. Everyone else was already eating, some plates almost finished.

Ty looked at Cristina with curiosity, stepping forwards to take the plate off the counter. "Thank you," he mumbled shyly.

Tavvy held two plates carefully as he walked towards the table, placing them between Mark and Dru. He ran back over to Cristina and grabbed her fingers, lightly pulling her towards the table.

Cristina laughed as she grabbed Tavvy, picking him up quickly and walking to the plates he set. She set him down next to Mark, helping him settle into the chair. She took her spot next to Dru, snatching a quick glance at Mark as she did so.

Kit smiled as he looked at Tavvy. The little boy seemed to radiate happiness. He was smiling from ear to ear and was singing a song -that he undoubtedly made up- about noodles. He giggled when Mark informed him of how good the food was, pausing to admit that Cristina had helped him a little bit. The littlest Blackthorn was happy, and Kit wasn't going to stop there. He was going to mend the Blackthorn family.

* * *

 **Sorry it took so long to update! I actually had a chapter written but stupid me didn't save it and it got erased. But it's okay because I didn't really like the idea, so I had to come up with a whole new one.**


	3. I Lost a Sister and a Brother

A soft knock jolted Emma. She swung her head around, her eyes piercing the door. She felt herself just about to fall asleep when she was interrupted by someone. It was almost one in the morning, who could it be? Emma groaned as she pushed the blanket off her, her mood souring as the warmth left her body. She made her way to the door, opening it with a bit too much force. She was ready to scream but when her eyes landed on the visitor, all words left her head. In front of her stood Julian. He looked like he just rolled out of bed. His hair was messy, with some sticking to the side of his face. He was wearing flannel pajama bottoms that were a bit too long as they covered half of his feet. His face was red and his eyes were slightly drooping.

"Julian?" she asked. She was surprised to see him. They hadn't seen much of each other since…. Livvy's death. She tried to talk to him but every time he pushed her away. She knew he was dealing with it his own way but it wasn't healthy. Who was she to talk though? She only talked to Cristina when she needed someone to lean on. She didn't talk to Mark or Dru or even Ty.

"Hi," Julian whispered.

"What's up?"

"Sorry, I just needed something but I didn't realize how late it is." He started back away, his bottoms scuffling a bit.

"No, it's okay. Please, stay," she begged, grabbing his arm lightly.

He watched her hand as it trailed down to his. Emma's heart sped up as his eyes continued up her arm to her chest, before finally reaching her eyes.

His eyes were dark, so much so you could barely see the blue in them, and there was something missing from them. Something that was a huge part of Julian. Emma's stomach felt like it dropped. Julian looked devastated.

He gave her a nod, following after her as she pulled him further into the room. Emma let go of him as he turned to shut the door. She sat on her bed, waiting for Julian. Her heart beat faster with every passing minute. Julian glanced at the spot next to Emma for a few seconds and hesitantly sat down.

"So…"

"Um… How are you?" Emma asked.

She mentally slapped herself. How are you?! Of course he's not doing well, his little sister died! But what else was there to say? It's been a while since they've really talked and this moment is almost too much for her.

"I want to say 'good' but I'm not," he said sharply. "I miss you,"

Emma felt she'd burst into tears. "I miss you too,"

"I'm sorry I haven't been up and out much. It's just hard, y'know?"

Emma nodded, reaching out to hold his hand.

Julian stared at their intertwined fingers. He stroked the back of her hand with his thumb. His eyes trailed up Emma's body and landed on her lips.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered, leaning in.

"Julian-"

"Emma." He leaned his forehead against hers.

Emma cleared her throat. "You said you needed something?"

"Yeah," he said, his voice deep and raw. "You."

His lips were soft and he tasted of cloves. His hands moved to wrap around her waist, and the kiss deepened. He leaned forward, forcing Emma to lie down. He leaned on one side, propped up on his elbow.

"Wait," Emma said. "We shouldn't."

"Why not?" He asked, his voice raspy.

Emma train of thought left as Julian continued to press kisses down her neck.

"Julian," Emma moaned.

Julian's hand moved up to the hem of Emma's tank top. He slipped his hand inside, gliding his rough fingers against her stomach.

"Julian, stop." Emma pushed her hands against Julian's chest.

His breathing slowed and his eyes darkened. They were directed at Emma's lips again. Emma's heart dropped as she was hit with realization.

"I can't believe this," she said, pushing Julian off her and standing up.

"What?" he asked, his voice traced with annoyance. He sat up and leaned back on his palms.

"You didn't want me, you wanted a distraction!"

Julian sighed.

"You're not even going to deny it?"

"I'm sorry, Emma, but it's just…" he trailed off, staring out the window.

"It's just what?"

Julian shook his head, his hair falling into his eyes. He pushed it away, irritation clearly written on his face.

"What, Julian? You're not even going to tell me, or at least give me a decent half-assed excuse for _using_ me?"

"It's too much, okay?!" His eyes filled with tears and he quickly blinked them away. "It's too damn hard, Em. She was my little girl and I didn't protect her and…. I miss her so much. She didn't deserve this. She should be here, traveling the world and shocking people with her crazy ability to do math and-" He broke off as the tears burst out and he started sobbing uncontrollably.

Emma hurried to Julian, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. "I know… But she wouldn't want us to do this, to be like this. She wouldn't want us to destroy ourselves in her name. She knew that you would've done everything to protect her and that you loved her. Of course she didn't deserve it, but it happened."

Julian's sobs slowed as he listened to Emma. He pulled himself away, raising his head to look her in the eyes. "I feel guilty. I'm living and she's not and…. It should've been me."

"Don't say that, okay? It's not right to say this but its better this way. Better one life than two, because I would die if I lost you, Jules."

"She's with your parents now. And she must be so happy to see them, don't you think? She doesn't need you to watch over her anymore, but Julian, the others do. And I'm to blame too, I haven't talked to Ty or Dru, but hell, I haven't even tried. It's about time we stop thinking of ourselves."

"You're right,"

Emma wiped the tears away from Julian's cheek. Her face broke out into a smile as she looked into Julian's eyes.

The light was back. Julian was back.

* * *

Julian stood before the door, contemplating whether he should knock or leave. It was pretty late. He cried into Emma's arms for an hour, before she fell asleep. He couldn't risk the chance of anyone walking in on them in the morning.

She was probably sleeping already anyway. Julian opened the door slowly, peering his head inside the room. He glanced towards the bed. He was right, she was sleeping. He crept inside, carefully shutting the door behind him. He walked to the bed, dodging the numerous books on the floor. He stood next to her sleeping figure. _Try not to scare her._

He knelt down so he was leveled with her. He reached his hand out to move the hair out of her face and kept his hand on her head, stroking it lovingly. She stirred at the movement, but didn't wake up.

"Hey," Julian whispered. "Drusilla."

Her eyes opened slowly, registering what was going on. "Julian?"

"Hey." He smiled.

"What are you doing here?" she asked. Rather than sitting up to face him, she just pulled the covers over her shoulders.

"I wanted to see you,"

"Oh," she mumbled, her eyes half-closed.

"Can I get in?"

Dru nodded, scooting over to make room for Julian.

He slid into the bed, pulling the covers over him. He wrapped his arm around her as she leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder.

After a few seconds of silence, Dru asked, "Are you okay?"

"No," Julian exhaled. "But I'll get better. What about you?"

Dru shook her head, and Julian could feel something wet on his shoulder. She was crying, he realized.

"I know, baby," he whispered, kissing the top of her head.

"I miss her," Dru said sadly. "Livvy…"

"Me too,"

"I miss you too." She nudged against his shoulder.

"Me? I'm right here,"

"Now you are, but before… It started to feel like I lost a sister and a brother,"

"I know I haven't been around but that's going to change. I'm sorry I made you feel that way,"

"It's okay. You lost a sister too,"

"I love you, Jules," she said after a moment.

Julian closed his eyes tightly, tears falling out. His cheek rested against Dru's head. He relished in the moment, savoring it, painted it in his mind trying to keep it a lasting memory.

"I love you too, baby girl,"


End file.
